Jack High: Brewing friendship and community at Greenberrys

By Bobbi Bowman, The McLean Ear

A birthday toast to Jack High

MCLEAN, VA – Long-time McLean resident Jack High would leave one of his energy-draining cancer treatments and not go home to rest. Leaning on his wife Martha and a cane, he would will himself into the Greenberrys coffee shop in downtown McLean.

Jack High

“The Office”-a group of fellow retirees-would greet him. “You laughed at his jokes. You helped him up when he fell. You made him feel needed. You boosted his spirits – you were friends like no other,” Martha High wrote in a note to the group  that gathers daily at Greenberrys.  Last week they celebrated Jack’s birthday.

This is a story about community. We McLean residents know we live in a small  fragmented fractured community. We have few common touchstones, meeting places, little common history. Our community organizations largely serve niches not the community as a whole.

So we create informal communities. Over the years Jack and others created “The Office”. It opens daily at Greenberry’s with 10 to 15 members between 10:30 and 11 am. and closes about noon. Their work: to welcome, support, advise, nurture and befriend.

Staff of "The Office" L-R - Pam Hall, Pam Lucey, Denise Garbis

“It’s a great support system,” said Pam Lucey, a long-time member. “We span the political spectrum. We have people from Holland, France, Portugal and Greece. Because of that we always find something to talk about — it helps to create a community.”

Cristina Granja of Portugal: “I talk to all my friends and everyone has something to offer about books, etc.”

Denise Garbis, aka “Yia Yai, Greek for grandma: “We are the cheapest form of therapy. We are different religions. Different political views. Different ethnic

Martha High, Jack's wife, at his birthday party

groups.”

Lucey: “It’s the family that you chose. You can speak freely. There is no judgement.”

How did they form?  Jack and Denise would take their grandchildren to pre-school then see each other at different tables later at Greenberry’s. They started to talk. Jack would see someone sitting alone and invite them to chat. Folks would drift in.

The birthday party united two sets of Jack’s friends, his classmates from the 1954 class at Phillips Academy, Andover,  paid for birthday party.

“Please permit us, Jack High’s fellow schoolmates from long ago at Andover, to have the honor of picking up the tab at your usual morning get-together today. Jack was a very special member of our class and we miss him dearly. Jack often spoke of his morning meetings with all of you and how much they meant to him. We know he loved you as he did us, and as we all did him. May 1st was Jack’s Birthday. Thank you for letting us be a part of it with you as we all wish our dear departed friend Jack a very happy birthday.

Classmate Ken McWilliams who now lives in Maine,  wrote the note and made the arrangements with The Office and  Greenberrys.

Jack was known as “The Mayor of Greenberrys.” He knew everyone. When he entered, women hugged him (that included the editor of The Ear). Men shook his hand. The very friendly Greenberrys staff led by Edith, Patricia and Alina knew his name.

“He was a prince of a man because he was always up and positive,” said Mike Hall of McLean.

Joe Selmer lives in  Philadelphia but takes the train to McLean to visit family. He comes to Greenberrys “every chance I get because of Jack.” Jack saw him sitting alone one day and invited him to join The Office.

Jack battled a long time. The cancer won. We lost Jack in December. Martha surrounded by their children and grandchildren gently left his ashes at their church, St. John’s Episcopal on Georgetown Pike.

But Jack lives. That’s why Martha and about 20 members of The Office gathered  to celebrate his May 1 birthday. He would have been 75 years young.